And so, a new year has begun. It’s already rather old, wouldn’t you say? We’re now at the 10th of January… already!
If you’d ask me last year January 10th, what I’d expect 2023 to be like, I would have told you full of optimism and joy and happiness that the year would have been a fantastic one. And in retrospect it was, but not for the reasons I was thinking it would have been for.
It was a year in which life took me by my proverbial b@lls and made me really sit, think and evaluate my life. The question which has been haunting me for ages, became the center of my universe: “What do you want??”
Needless to say that my life – as it was previously – came to a complete and utter halt. I was paralyzed for most of 2023 because that question alone haunted me. If you’ve never really took the time to evaluate where you are and why you are where you are, but most importantly, what you would want out of life, then looking at that question seems liked climbing the Mount Everest.
UNTIL – someone asked me a question which triggered quite literally a liberation of my mind. The stronghold that kept me strictly in place and checked as non-movable broke into little pieces. That question was: “But why are you so rigid?”
Mind you, me, rigid? Are you talking to moi?
That day I got home, sat on a chair and told myself come on now. You gotta start thinking things through! Are you rigid or not? And it was like the sky opened up and a vision appeared of myself. YES I used to be super rigid. And why was I rigid? Because I was trying to control things around me to fit a mold I had in my head. And why was I trying to control things – is because I never had control to begin with. And therefore, everything was scary. EVERY-SINGLE-THING. Which in turn again sent me into even more rigid-ness.
Well. The day I confronted that thought, threw it out, was the day I could literally think again. Gone was the need of medication as the brain fog went out the door.
Since that fateful day end of November 2023, I’ve been blessed thoroughly with so much understanding of who I am. But most importantly, I’ve discovered that yes. I am worthy. And because I am worthy, I can finally go and figure out what I want.
It’s a journey alright. I pray that you reading this, can open up your mind just enough for you to question your situation, circumstances and your surroundings. And if you want change.. well then. Go make different decisions.
Shall we?
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